Life Happens

Many times this past year, my friends have had unexpected, life-changing events, mostly that involved falling and breaking one bone or another in their bodies. Whether it was a wrist, shoulder, or leg, one doesn't miss those limbs until they can no longer be depended on to work properly, or at all.

But there are two things most of us fail to consider. Number one, that not every accident has a recovery date to look forward to. Losing a leg altogether is different than breaking it, for example. And number two, these episodes almost invariably affect other people in our lives, mostly family members, who have to carry the slack for the tasks we can no longer do.

This Labor Day weekend, and every Labor Day weekend, my family remembers an accident of my husband's that he never fully recovered from, and it impacted his loved ones in a powerful way. To the extent that we refer to life before the accident and after the accident, because there was such a major shift in how our family functioned after his TBI, or traumatic brain injury. In essence, we were all brain injury survivors after that all-important weekend. It may have been called Labor Day, but it was not a day that worked for us. It added to our labors in unimaginable ways.

Over the years, we were to discover that there were also benefits to be won in our struggle to survive. It strengthened us spiritually by not only drawing us closer to a higher power, but making us more aware of the trials of others and able to reach out to them in loving ways.

Would I change what happened if I could? Perhaps, and then perhaps, it was for the best. It is impossible to know how things might have otherwise worked out without Dean's accident. But for now, I am content that life happens, and we must go with the flow, no matter how high the waves toss and turn us about. Life happens...and then it goes on.

Our Big D-Day

June 6th, 1944, was a big day in history. It was the day the Allied forces stormed the coast of France, beginning the liberation of western Europe from Nazi control. The term D-day, as it's been called, is a code name for any major military action or operation.

In a sense, I can call my wedding anniversary on June 6th another D-day, or rather Dean-day. After three years of postponements and cancellations, we finally found ourselves liberated from our singlehood and embarking on a new life together as husband and wife.

Even though Dean's been gone seven long years now, on days like today our wedding in 1976 feels like it was yesterday. The road wasn't always smooth for us, but we took our bumps and heartaches to God and grew from them personally and spiritually.

I praise God every day for the hope we have that we'll be together again with the Lord on the day when Christ comes in the clouds to take us home. Now, that will surely be a D-day worth celebrating!

Oh, Happy Day!

 Today is one of the four times out of the year that I remember my husband Dean in a very purposeful way. In June, there's our wedding anniversary. Then September holds the day he suffered a traumatic brain injury from a tractor accident, inspiring me to start this blog about caregiving. Obviously not nearly as pleasant a memory with that date. But December is the month of his birthday--a happy time for most people. (Although this past December, I was battling gallstones--so it took some fun out of my life for a bit there.)

This Groundhog Day, February 2, brings me back to another sad time though. It was the day Dean (or Idaho, as some people knew him) passed away in 2018. What these dates are showing me is that our lives are filled with a mixture of happiness and sorrow.

It make me long for the time when only happiness and joy will fill all our days. The Bible says in Revelation 21:4 that for those in heaven "God will wipe away every year from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying." Every day will be a happy day!!! I can't wait for that one!

Save a Life! Give Blood!

September 1, 1999 is a day that is stamped on my memory forever. It was Labor Day weekend when I received a phone call that my husband was in the hospital as the result of a serious tractor accident and was in a hospital in Des Moines, Iowa.

My daughter and I raced to the hospital and found him there in critical condition with the very real possibility on not living through the night.

Little did I know that I would spend the next nineteen years of my life as his caregiver. Most of his injuries healed, but the brain injury he sustained left him with life-changing symptoms that greatly impacted my daughter and I..

During that first week in the ICU, we were told that since Labor Day and the typical increase of car accidents that are seen during all holidays, there was a shortage of blood at the blood bank. All our family who had come to support us immediately went to the nearest donation center and gave our blood. I'm sure it saved many lives, and it just felt like the right thing to do.

I hope you will keep this shortage of blood donations in mind throughout the year and give blood to save others. Isn't this what Jesus did for us? Be like Jesus!

Another Anchor Date--Our Anniversary

 June 6, 1976, was a date which my husband liked. He thought it would be easy to remember our wedding anniversary, because it was a date close to being 666 (a familiar number in the Bible, if you know anything about Revelation).

There's been a lot in the news about D-day this year--the day in 1944, eighty years ago, when the Allied forces landed in Normandy, France, and so many soldiers died to free Europe from Nazi rule.

With so much turmoil going on in the world today, I may contemplate more soberly the deeper meaning of this day. History reminds us that even when things seem about as dark as they can get, there is always a victory waiting just around the corner.

In the case of Dean and I, the victory will be that blessed reunion when we meet Jesus in the sky at His Second Coming. My faith remains strong, as was Dean's, that God will win the war with Satan soon. Without that anchor, my life would be empty and miserable indeed.

Hooray for Groundhogs!

 Sometimes I don't know what to do with Groundhog Day. It's customary for people in the United States to pay attention to what a groundhog does on February 2nd. Whether he sees his shadow or not, coming out of his burrow, supposedly determines the timing of one of our most longed-for seasons. Namely, spring. Even though people joke about this old, Pennsylvania Dutch superstition, they continue to pretend there's true meteorological value in the custom.

I find myself thankful for Groundhog Day though for a different reason. It's a reminder of an important date, but most of all, an important man who I spent most of my life with. My husband, Dean, passed away on this colorful, memorable day in 2018, six years ago now.

It's not a day for me to celebrate, but certainly an opportunity to commemorate and cherish the best of memories about someone who had such an impact on my life.

Having just finished reading the book, "Man's Search for Meaning", by Viktor E. Frankl, I recognize instantly that although my life, before and after the caregiving years, wasn't perfect with Dean, he truly gave my life purpose and meaning, and for that I will always be thankful. God knew what He was doing, after all, in bringing our lives together.

my college graduation in the spring of 1976...the beginning of our "journey" together

He Took It to the Limit

 December 4th, which was Dean's birthday, caused me once again to wait for some inspiration that would allow me to write something about my late husband on his special day. Nothing came to mind, until I was in a dentist chair today, his birthday, waiting to get a temporary crown returned to its throne. It had fallen off unexpectedly the day after I was coronated.

Sitting there, I couldn't help listening to the background music playing in the dental office. The song that came on had been especially loved by Dean back in 1976, the year of our wedding. I hadn't paid a lot of attention to rock music in those years of my life, but apparently Dean had, and he was fond of the Eagles' song, "Take It to the Limit".

The words "So, put me on a highway, show me a sign..." and the rest, really summed up Dean's life up to that point, he told me back then. It spoke of his love of hitchhiking, but also the fact that he had been searching for a way to turn his life around.

I'd like to think he did that with me.